


Mr. Rogers, Murder School, and Kitten Bribery

by antigone_ks



Series: Lantern of Evil [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Kitten, Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, Murder School was surprisingly comprehensive, Sam's gentle teasing, Steve's ongoing cultural acclimatization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 01:58:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20499023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antigone_ks/pseuds/antigone_ks
Summary: The things Steve will put up with to hold Sam's new kitten . . .A prequel to Lantern of Evil, but can be read alone.





	Mr. Rogers, Murder School, and Kitten Bribery

“So why’d you name him Daniel Striped Tiger?” Steve asked, peering at the striped head that poked out of the kangaroo pocket on Sam’s hoodie.

“’Cause he’s tiger-striped and he’s shy,” Sam said, gingerly petting the kitten’s nose. It blinked at Sam’s finger, then a tiny paw reached out to bat at it. “Look at you, l’il man. Get that finger. He’s getting braver,” he added.

“Steve has on his does-not-compute face,” Natasha said. “It’s from Mr. Rogers. Not you,” she rolled her eyes at Steve’s expression. “It was a kids’ show.”

“You’ve been outta the ice for eight years and no one showed you Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood?” Sam asked. “I _know_ I’ve made Mr. Rogers jokes at you – wait, is that why you never reacted?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Steve said, genuinely perplexed. “You call me Mr. Rogers when I’m being a civilian.”

“When you’re acting like an old neighborly, sweater-wearing, child-whispering civilian,” Sam corrected. Daniel Striped Tiger rolled over in his pocket and chirped at him.

“You called me Mr. Rogers _today_,” Steve accused, suddenly very aware that he _is_ wearing a sweater and just spent an hour facetiming with Clint’s oldest son, who was working on a history project about World War II ration books.

Natasha grinned and patted his arm. “Coop’s really fond of you. It was nice of you to take the time to help him.”

“Won’t you be his neighbor?” Sam sang, tickling the kitten’s paws.

“That’s what that’s about?”

“Steve, I grew up in Russia and even I knew Mr. Rogers. Of course, we had to be aware of western pop culture,” Natasha mused.

“You used Mr. Rogers in your _murder school_?” Sam asked, outraged. The kitten squeaked at his tone and dove back into the pocket.

“We used everything in murder school,” Nat said calmly. “Jack-o-lanterns were part of murder school.” Steve wasn’t sure he believed her, but he wasn’t sure he didn’t believe her, either.

“Russian murder school’s hardcore,” Sam said, giving her a fistbump. A grumpy noise escaped his pocket, and he turned to Steve. “Daniel says you gotta watch some Mr. Rogers.”

Steve shook his head laughing. “Sam, I don’t really have time to watch some old kids’ show. Bruce says his experiment is almost ready and I want to make sure nothing goes wrong.” Bruce had been working on something to do with stabilizing the serum, for some reason unknown to Steve, and the last time he’d messed with the serum he’d broken part of Harlem. Steve figured he’d earned some babysitting.

Sam slung an arm around his shoulder. Natasha tucked Steve’s other arm through hers. “Cap, I mean this as nicely as possible, but you have no business in Banner’s lab while he’s working.”

“What if it _does_ go wrong and he double-serums you?” Nat asked. “We could have another Hulk on our hands.”

“I’ll let you hold Daniel,” Sam wheeled, and then quirked his lips. “If he wants you to.”

“Are you trying to bribe Captain America with a kitten?” Steve asked. “Shouldn’t it be a Labrador or something?”

Sam narrowed his eyes and pulled away. “Just for that, you don’t get _any_ kitten-time.” He lifted his hoodie and spoke into the pocket. “Don’t you listen to him, l’il man. Labrador my ass. Like he’s too good to hold a cat. You know he’s the one called me when he heard you crying ‘cause the tree wouldn’t hold his big butt.”

It turned out Mr. Rogers had done a whole week on art, and by the third episode Daniel was curled up on Steve’s broad chest, his head tucked under Steve’s chin while Sam and Natasha sang along to the theme song. 

Steve could check out the lab tomorrow.


End file.
